Wow, has it been a while since I have posted. I am very sorry for that, things have been crazy and my head has been so full of other things lately I just kind of space on everything I'm supposed to be keeping up with.
The holiday season is almost over and I'm somewhat glad for that because it gets my mind off of my Marine and all of the other men out there who have become my second family. My heart goes out to them when they are away from us during Christmas and every other holiday they will be missing with us. I can't believe it's almost January, it feels like it's been so short yet so long at the same time. I have some insightful information to share with everyone today.
Deployment hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, it's given me time to go out with friends and do everything that I wasn't able to do because I was spending so much time preparing for him to leave. It has given me the chance to sit down at night and read a book instead of sending emails and prepping for the day I would say, "I'll see you soon". Spring will be rolling around soon and that's when things overseas become complicated and dangerous. But I hold on to the hope that my Marine and his comrades know exactly what they are doing and what they have to do to stay alive. I have stopped thinking about him every minute of every day but I do think of him a few times a day and that's what keeps me strong. I have been able to focus on my daily activities better because I've finally grasped the concept of love. It's the idea of unconditional determination and focus on what you need to do while you know they are doing what they do. Most people have husbands, boyfriends, etc. that work doing the day and see them at night but guess what? We wait for months to be able to have a whole day and night with our amazing men.
I guess it's come with a few months of enlightenment. I'm wanting and dreading their return. I want them home but I'm afraid of who they might be when they come home. But in the end it doesn't matter because I'm standing beside them with whatever they need. They are the most amazing gift to have entered my life and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Sometimes I'll look out my window at night and think that it's day time where they are and when I'm sleeping they are working and the other way around. I guess it's easier for me because I have 37 people out there that I know are in dangerous situations and they will do whatever it takes to bring each other home to their families and friends.
I watch the news when I was told not to, and every time I see something about troops dying, my heart leaps because of fear and sadness but when I see them walking in their uniforms around town or on the news I feel an overwhelming sense of pride knowing that I am a part of something bigger than just a few men. I'm a part of the families and I will continue to do what I can to make this easier on them. Love is beautiful and wonderful and deployments may be hard but when you pick your head up and realize it will be over just as quickly as it began, you will be just fine.
I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and I will continue to write and keep everyone updated as to what is going on. Have a wonderful day everyone!
CM©Semperfikindoflove
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Car crashes...I think yes
Man, when I woke up this morning I was not ready for the events of the day to happen how they did.
I woke up, running about 20 minutes late, threw on the first thing I grabbed out of my closet. A gray shirt, some blue jeans, and a jacket. I debated wearing his jacket or not today. I hurried out to the car with my stuff, I picked up my passengers. As we were driving, everything seemed like it was going alright. The car was silent but I was hitting every green light. We were on a bridge at one point, a bridge that has a blind area where you can't see the cars over it. Well, someone wasn't paying attention and nailed a car that was two cars behind me. Normally, it wouldn't affect someone that far ahead. Oh but it did, she was going full speed and all of us were at a dead stop. So seconds later I look into my mirror and see the car behind me lurch forward. I had plenty of room in front of me, enough so that if I were to get hit it wouldn't hit the car in front of me. Oops...too late. It did because when I got it, I got hit once, then twice, then a third time. Lovely right? I was so mad, I didn't realize it was a five car crash at this point. I saw the damage to everyone else when I got out of the car, making sure no one on the scene was hurt. We called the cops, not the highlight of my Tuesday morning at all. My two passengers got another ride and I stood outside in the freezing cold, handling accident forms and such. Thankfully the car in front of me wasn't damaged because I just lightly bumped it. The side of my car popped out a little but it went back in easily. Ok, so that wasn't bad, the other three cars had severe damage. The guy behind me has his bumper almost falling off, the guy behind him had front and back damage that was really bad, and the girl who hit everyone was totaled, air bags out and all.
As I got in the car, I had finished all of the accident papers and finished dealing with the cops. I thought about it. I always thought that car accidents were no big deal, hey they are light, nothing big. But then I realized, wait a minute, if that would have been at a higher speed and we were stopped or I had been hit from a different angle, I could have died. I realized that life is too short to sit there and worry about the little things.
I had posted my status as "In a car crash. Happy Anniversary." One of the guys from my Marine's platoon was online and commented, "You alright?" I don't know how but about a half hour later my Marine got online and commented, also sending me a message, and later calling me leaving a voicemail. I was relaxed about it, I was safe but I wondered how he found out. Had he just gone online? Or had word spread that I was in an accident? Either way it didn't matter because he was worried and I couldn't answer the phone so I couldn't let him know I was alright. It's weird how little events like that open your eyes more than anything, to what is important and who is important. I had been so worried about something happening to him, it didn't even cross my mind that something could happen to me that could change his life. Maybe I needed this little eye opening experience to be able to see my flaws in the situation. His mother also commented on my status worried and I also saw that even though I'm not married to him. I'm also a part of his family in a strange way. It meant a lot to me.
I want to take this time here, to say a few things. I feel like I've made a lot of mistakes in my past but looking at it now, all those mistakes led me to my Marine. I couldn't be more thankful for those mistakes right now than I am. His brother also messaged me earlier telling me that I can't get into accidents or have car problems because my Marine needs me. It was genuinely sweet. I love that family as a family to me too. They are more than just my fiance's family, they are more than friends, they are a family to me. So here's what I'm going to tell everyone.
Don't take for granted the minutes you have, you never know when they will be your last ones. I was talking the other day to a friend wondering why people all of sudden care when you're hurt, why if I were to get in a car crash tomorrow, would someone care more than they had the day before? Man, saying that and then having it happen shocked me. Cherish every moment, every discussion like you won't ever have it again. Remember that love is stronger than any hurt. As long as you love unconditionally, you make sure you let that person know you love them, you will be just fine.
I hope you all have a wonderful night, I'm going to try to nap right now. Enjoy!
CM©Semperfikindoflove
I woke up, running about 20 minutes late, threw on the first thing I grabbed out of my closet. A gray shirt, some blue jeans, and a jacket. I debated wearing his jacket or not today. I hurried out to the car with my stuff, I picked up my passengers. As we were driving, everything seemed like it was going alright. The car was silent but I was hitting every green light. We were on a bridge at one point, a bridge that has a blind area where you can't see the cars over it. Well, someone wasn't paying attention and nailed a car that was two cars behind me. Normally, it wouldn't affect someone that far ahead. Oh but it did, she was going full speed and all of us were at a dead stop. So seconds later I look into my mirror and see the car behind me lurch forward. I had plenty of room in front of me, enough so that if I were to get hit it wouldn't hit the car in front of me. Oops...too late. It did because when I got it, I got hit once, then twice, then a third time. Lovely right? I was so mad, I didn't realize it was a five car crash at this point. I saw the damage to everyone else when I got out of the car, making sure no one on the scene was hurt. We called the cops, not the highlight of my Tuesday morning at all. My two passengers got another ride and I stood outside in the freezing cold, handling accident forms and such. Thankfully the car in front of me wasn't damaged because I just lightly bumped it. The side of my car popped out a little but it went back in easily. Ok, so that wasn't bad, the other three cars had severe damage. The guy behind me has his bumper almost falling off, the guy behind him had front and back damage that was really bad, and the girl who hit everyone was totaled, air bags out and all.
As I got in the car, I had finished all of the accident papers and finished dealing with the cops. I thought about it. I always thought that car accidents were no big deal, hey they are light, nothing big. But then I realized, wait a minute, if that would have been at a higher speed and we were stopped or I had been hit from a different angle, I could have died. I realized that life is too short to sit there and worry about the little things.
I had posted my status as "In a car crash. Happy Anniversary." One of the guys from my Marine's platoon was online and commented, "You alright?" I don't know how but about a half hour later my Marine got online and commented, also sending me a message, and later calling me leaving a voicemail. I was relaxed about it, I was safe but I wondered how he found out. Had he just gone online? Or had word spread that I was in an accident? Either way it didn't matter because he was worried and I couldn't answer the phone so I couldn't let him know I was alright. It's weird how little events like that open your eyes more than anything, to what is important and who is important. I had been so worried about something happening to him, it didn't even cross my mind that something could happen to me that could change his life. Maybe I needed this little eye opening experience to be able to see my flaws in the situation. His mother also commented on my status worried and I also saw that even though I'm not married to him. I'm also a part of his family in a strange way. It meant a lot to me.
I want to take this time here, to say a few things. I feel like I've made a lot of mistakes in my past but looking at it now, all those mistakes led me to my Marine. I couldn't be more thankful for those mistakes right now than I am. His brother also messaged me earlier telling me that I can't get into accidents or have car problems because my Marine needs me. It was genuinely sweet. I love that family as a family to me too. They are more than just my fiance's family, they are more than friends, they are a family to me. So here's what I'm going to tell everyone.
Don't take for granted the minutes you have, you never know when they will be your last ones. I was talking the other day to a friend wondering why people all of sudden care when you're hurt, why if I were to get in a car crash tomorrow, would someone care more than they had the day before? Man, saying that and then having it happen shocked me. Cherish every moment, every discussion like you won't ever have it again. Remember that love is stronger than any hurt. As long as you love unconditionally, you make sure you let that person know you love them, you will be just fine.
I hope you all have a wonderful night, I'm going to try to nap right now. Enjoy!
CM©Semperfikindoflove
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