Three Weeks!!!!

Alright ladies...I have some news for you. We found out that my Marine isn't getting leave this summer. What a bummer! But like all military relationships, you have to expect things to change and go with the flow. Here's how this conversation went:

Marine: Hey babe
Me: Hey you, so I was thinking about the end of May, you should come attend one of my classes!
Marine: About that...I want you to come out here....
Me: Uh...about what?!?!
Marine: *Uncomfortable laugh* I can't take leave, the days after boot counted and so I'd only have a few days by July...
Me: Are you kidding me?
Marine: No...I'm sorry.
Me: *Silence then a sigh*
Marine: It's ok...
Me: You're right, we'll figure this out. I'll buy a plane ticket and we'll see each other in May. This isn't the end of the world, we've got to work with it.
Marine: That's not the reaction I expected...
Me: What other choice do we have?

He expected me to be angry, to cry, to be furious but I wasn't. I realized that this comes along with loving a Marine or any other military man for that matter of fact. Could I really afford to buy a plane ticket right now, monetarily speaking...yes, mentally/college speaking...no. But that's the thing about this that made my decision so hard. I wouldn't be seeing him until probably December depending where he gets stationed. So it was completely worth it to me to spend $375 on a plane ticket for one weekend. There are some things that you have to consider in a long distance relationship and steps you need to take for unexpected things coming up in a military relationship. I'll give you some examples because this is the third curve ball that was thrown at me in the past three months.

Curve ball #1: My Marine and I breaking up about three days after we returned from boot camp graduation. We were so happy in San Diego and then all of a sudden our world was turned upside down due to his friends and fights. It was awful but I dealt with it just like I would with any situation. I'll give you the steps to this one.

Step 1: Reassess where you went wrong
Step 2: Breathe, it's going to be hard to do but be patient
Step 3: If the complication was a result of your action, talk it out with your military man and figure out what you can do better
Step 4: Don't get frustrated if things don't work right away, it took about a four week break for us to be ready to try the relationship again

Curve ball #2: My best friend, my ex, and a lot of my other friends were supposed to deploy sometime in the summer. The were told three weeks in advance that they would actually be leaving four months before their scheduled deployment date. I was knocked to the floor hearing this, so were a bunch of Marine wives. It hurt a lot, I was scared, I didn't want to see them leave and I didn't know what I would be able to talk to them.

Step 1: Calm down, if you're crying, breathe and relax
Step 2: Figure out communication for the next year, addresses, etc.
Step 3: Be positive and remember that they are struggling with this too
Step 4: Let them know you care and you love them, do not be negative!

Curve ball #3: My Marine telling me that he won't be able to come home for graduation, for our yearly camping trip up North, or to see me before I head off to college in the fall. I was distraught and panicking in my head but I wouldn't let him know that. He was surprised I took it so well, but there wasn't anything I could do.

Step 1: Don't show panic, breathe and realize that there is probably a solution out there
Step 2: Think about possible solutions
Step 3: Work together, split travel costs
Step 4: Be excited and assess both sides of the situation

Remember there is an opportunity cost or trade-off to every choice that you make. Just make sure it is the best one for the two of you. I am seeing my Marine in three weeks and I couldn't be more excited. I wish you all the best and if you need anything please feel free to email me!


semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com
Signing off...
Semper Fi

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