I don't know everything...but I do know this.

I got an interesting email this morning that made me really think about a question I was asked. So I wanted to share with all of you

"If you know so much about all of this, how come your relationships didn't last?"

Oh my goodness, this question took me in circles because I couldn't figure out how to respond to it completely so that someone would understand. But here goes:

I don't claim to know everything about this lifestyle, I know a lot from experience and I know what it takes to make one last. But ultimately, it is up to the two individuals. My three ex-boyfriends who are Marines, we were not compatible in the way that two people should be in a relationship. My first ex needed to grow up and have his freedom, he needed that space when I needed him to be there. It wasn't the USMC that tore us apart so my knowledge didn't apply there, it was a matter of two people expecting two different things out of life. My second ex had a completely different idea of what life looked like for him and what it looked like for me. When he cheated it was his way of lashing out when he was angry, it had nothing to do with the distance honestly. My third ex changed during boot camp and we both became different people. We fought all the time and it was happening even before he went into the military. It was a relationship that was bound to fail but we were both stubborn trying to make it work. I know how to make it last in a military relationship but that is all, I don't know how to make it a permanent fix.

I've learned in the past week that nothing in life is permanent. You can argue saying some people are permanent but what are break-ups, falling outs with friends, divorce, or death? They are things that ruin the image of permanent relationships. You have to first accept failure to be able to understand your part in a relationship. You will never be the perfect girlfriend or wife because EVERYONE has flaws. I have flaws, a lot of them but I think I've found someone who accepts those. Maybe I won't marry a military individual, but I can still give advice on how to hold your relationship together because my ties to the military will never go away.

My final example is this:

If you are a surgeon, you know a lot about the body and about health. You're performing a surgery, there's a complication. Your patient dies, you used all your knowledge about being a surgeon to try to save their life. It doesn't work. Does that mean you're a failure? No. Does that mean that you could have saved their life if you knew more? No. That's to explain my knowledge. I'm the surgeon, my knowledge is military relationships, my patient is the relationship. Can I save them all? No. Can I try? Yes. Will I succeed? Maybe. But in the end my knowledge doesn't fix a condition that already exists. That condition is the personality of the two individuals.

That's my say for the day, I hope you all have a great evening!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com


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